Hate is a strong word. But I hate waking up early. Don’t come talking to me about your proverbial early bird and how it catches the worm. I don’t eat worms. I eat tacos. And I can get those any time I want. Do I understand the value of getting up early and starting the day? Absolutely. Do I enjoy it? Holy hell to the naw. What happened to the 90’s and early 2000’s when I could stay in bed until noon and still have a productive day. One of my biggest problems with adulting is that waking up at 8 am now constitutes “sleeping in”. You’ve gotta be kidding me. If I had my druthers (and somehow managed to win the Powerball), I would never get up before 11 am. And my butler (who would most certainly be a scantily dressed female) would have mimosas ready for me daily. I enjoy what I do professionally (most days), but I would certainly enjoy it more if they let me slide in that thang around 10 or 10:30. I see no reason for me to have to get up before Ra (God of the Sun). I truly feel like Sweet Baby Jesus wants us to awaken at the same time. Forget all of the political rhetoric about terrorism, hacked email accounts and global warming. Give me the candidate that mandates corporate America can’t start until 9:15 each day. That’s the person I’m voting for.
P.S. Big ups to all of the parents who are responsible for getting themselves and their children up. I have a hard time finding a clean pair of undies in the morning. Ain’t no way I could be responsible for another being.
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